How the Observer Feels

• Ask your client to identify something they don’t like about themselves.
• Ask them, when they bring this to mind, how do they feel about it?
• You can then ask how they feel about how they feel, to show that there can be layers of referential emotion.
• Then, ask them “who is observing these feelings?” They will likely identify something that is observing, however vague. We allow this vagueness.
• Now ask them: “How does this observer feel about the thing you brought to mind?”

People will generally report negative feelings about the thing they don’t like. But when asked how the observer feels, it is common for people to say that the observer is okay with it, or chilled about it.

This is an exercise where people’s exact experience cannot be predicted, so the practitioner will need to be responsive to what the client reports. They may need to adjust - e.g. the observer also might not like the thing. Perhaps we can ask who is observing the observer, how do they feel. Or just ask whether there is any difference in magnitude between the observer and our feeligngs about the thing.

Note: this is not fully-fledged direct pointing, we’re not attempting to see through self, we’re just noting that observation is happening. For now, we allow there to be an “observer”.