The Odoki Method

Week 3

Welcoming

Recap

Last week we covered Noting:

Valence: pleasant/unpleasant
Arousal: high/low energy
Emotion words
Thought words

Exercise: The Fist

In this exercise, we hold our hand up in front of us. We tighten our hand into a fist, and then clench it so that the finger nails dig into the palm of our hand. Then, with the other hand, attempt to open up the fist (while the fist resists). Observe what happens in the rest of your body.

Next, keeping your hand as a fist, with the other hand, cradle it. Wrap your fist with your other hand. Again, observe what happens in your body.

The Fist - explanation

Our body, our emotions don’t work like thoughts
You can’t just “get rid” of them

What happens when we cradle our fist? Commonly, this part of the exercise is relaxing.

This is a clear metaphor for how our body and emotions work. They want to know they’re okay.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change.
~ Carl Rogers

Welcoming

Counterintuitive
Welcoming all of our experience
If we can’t, then welcome our resistence to experience

Why welcome things we don’t like?

Exercise: Welcoming

First arrive in bodily experience (e.g. brief body scan).

Then notice if there is anything we don’t like in our experience. Can we let it be there.

What is it like to be okay with it being there?

What is it like to welcome it?

If we can’t welcome it, can we notice how we feel about it? Can we welcome that?

Exercise: The Observer

In this exercise, we first identify something we don’t like in our experience. Notice what happens in the body when we give this attention. Then, once we’ve felt that, we ask ourselves how we feel about that. Then, we can ask how we feel about how we feel about it. It can be curious to notice these ‘meta’ feelings.

Next, notice the thing we don’t like. Now, check, who is it that is observing this? Can you get a sense of the ‘observer’, who it is that is looking at this aspect of ourselves? If you manage to get a sense of where the observer is, ask yourself, “how does the observer feel about this thing you don’t like?”

It is common for people to find the observer to have a much more detached response to the unpleasant experience than they do themselves!

Reflection: Resisting

When has resisting thoughts or emotions worked?
When has resisting resolved an emotion?

If we bring to mind something we don’t like, let’s ask ourselves, how often has resisting this actually got rid of it? The psychological truth is, unfortunately, as natural as resisting feels, it actually has the opposite effect, it solidifies the thing we are trying to avoid.

Perhaps counter-intuitively, if we can turn towards our experience, including the unpleasant and difficult, we can slowly start to realise it isn’t as bad as our resistance makes out.

Exercise

Start with “open monitoring” - notice whatever is in experience. Then label experience as pleasent, neutral, unpleasant.

Now see what it is like to sit with something that is pleasant. Is it easy? Difficult? Do we resist?

Now see what it is like to sit with something neutral. Again, is it easy? Hard?

Finally, sit with something unpleasant. How does this compare? Can we walk through the stages of “resist”, “let it be”, “be okay with it” and “welcome”, in relation to this experience?

If we cannot welcome it, what is it like to welcome any resistance we have to it?

Homework

5-10 minutes of practice each day.
Keep an unpleasant event diary
Explore welcoming those unpleasant events

Questions?

The Odoki MethodWeek 3Welcoming